We all look forward to the lighthearted and festive movies that fill us with cheer on The Hallmark Channel. It’s a beloved tradition among many households but this week a motley crew of holiday films are on the lineup that you will never see on the family friendly network.
Below is a list of the top 5 seasonal flicks on the roster.
1. Krampus Drags Karen to the Underworld
This terrifying tale has a twist ending, as the German half goat/half demon gets more than he bargained for when he drags off Karen. The bob-haired busy body reveals she actually enjoys being hit by sticks (it’s always the publicly righteous ones, right?). SPOILER ALERT: Krampus spits the annoying neighbor out of the abyss when she tells him his horns are not regulation size and will be reporting him to the HOA.
2. Philadelphia Santa
The not-so-jolly St. Nick stands atop the chimney and shouts down the shaft “any Cowboys fans down there?” “Better not be I ain’t delivering no gifts to no Cowboys jabroni’s.”
3. A Merry AF Snoop Dogg Christmas
Snoop has to deliver all the presents when Santa crashes his sleigh into his dispensary, leaving Mr. Claus a little out of it and hungry for snacks. Always up for the job and a fun time, Snoop teaches the elves how to c-walk before embarking on his Christmas Eve journey.
4. Stank the San Francisco Snowman
Stank is rushed to the North Pole when the kids discover a yellow puddle in their front yard.
5. Connor McGregor and Kanye West’s R-rated Christmas Boat Cruise
While Connor and Kanye may be lit up like a Christmas tree, that’s not presents their wives are unwrapping underneath the tree.
I hope you enjoy the upcoming movies and maybe wait till your kids go to bed before you watch them, and may you have a wonderful holiday season!