Online travel agencies and United Airlines teamed up with US Secretary of Transportation, Pete Buttigieg this week.
The partnership is a result of thousands of flights being delayed over the weekend and extending into this week that left travelers stranded at the airport.
“Tips for Airport Vacations” will provide a guide for travelers without ever expecting to leave the airport. Yes, you heard that right, you are staying right in the airport for your vacation.
Some of the amenities and activities include free blankets and your inflatable vest “pillow” for your weeklong stay. There is the luggage throwing contest-bonus points for the most dents and scratches, toddler screaming-the loudest two-year-old gets a chance to apply for the United credit card.
One of the most anticipated events is the “Frequent Fighters Club” so mosey up to the airport lounge, order a few shots of whiskey and bring your drama, cause it’s on!
TSA will preside over the competitors, awarding winners on the grounds: if a choke hold is necessary to remove a rowdy passenger from the out of commission plane. First place gets you not one but two bags of peanuts-don’t ask for the Kind bar, it’s never available.
Shopping, while not included does offer a variety of options including pretzels, a wide array of perfumes that have become somewhat stale but can still pass through customs and pre-packaged sandwiches-turkey mesquite, turkey chipotle, turkey and Swiss, turkey and turkey and many more.
What’s most exciting is there will be artistic renderings of the cities you may have visited if your flight actually took off. You can stand in front of a mural of New York City, it’s so life-like. Just have your camera ready, pose in front of the theaters on Broadway where you will be robbed, and your camera taken from you. Pro-Tip: give the masked assailant your friend’s phone number so he can text him the photo. As a consolation, NYC will give you a free piece of pizza, keep in mind it won’t be wood fired, but the city claims it is still edible.
Vacations to Paris include croissants and group of Parisiens yelling “We hate you, go back home Yankee”.
Buttigieg said it was a win for the American traveler.